Conflict

Cultivating Biblical Solutions when there is Conflict!

Including Dealing with, Resolving and Preventing Disagreements, Struggles and Arguments!

Conflict is a Reality, Even in a Church!

Understanding, Resolving and Preventing Conflict

This is the introductory article in the series. Matthew 5:9; Luke 6:27-36; Galatians 5:19-26; Philippians 2:3-6; Colossians 1:17-20; 3:12-17

Ask yourself this: what brings about the conflict, quarrels warring at you and your church or home?

Then commit a way, His way, to dissolve the fight and resolve the conflict! We do this when we replace conflict with His love so it overflows to those around you! Why is it so hard to get along with other people who are also in Christ, whom He loves, whom He has called and saved and empowered, too? The answer is what is motivating our hearts and directing our passions! The choice, His way or our way, will determine how every relationship and encounter we have in life will be affected! The result is we will seek God's wisdom and live our lives in love, bringing growth and reconciliation.

Talking your Way out of Conflict

How to deal with conflict in a nutshell!

This is a basic step by step biblical process to solve conflict personally or in a church. Most problems seem complex; intertwined with so many people and so much hurt and communication ills, they seem overwhelming and hopeless. But, that is not the case; most problems have just a few simple components to them that can be isolated and dealt with.

Articles and curriculums to help Church leaders deal with problems and conflict

Why we have Conflicts

The Bible teaches us that conflict comes from the desires that battle within our hearts and that this is the result of our sinful nature. Sin is at the root as our securities are threatened, our happiness is at stake, our focus is misplaced, and our God is ignored. Sometimes, our good desires are escalated to sinful retaliation; truth becomes concealed and twisted, listening does not happen, we are not understood, and we do not understand the other person. Thus...

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

James 4:1-3

Taking Responsibility in Conflict

Do You Attack Others to Cover Yourself? Are you more likely to trust people first until proven wrong or do you start by distrusting others until they prove themselves as trustworthy? What does Christ want us to do?

Overcoming the Fear of Conflict

Conflict and discipline may conjure up medieval inquisitions, emotional trauma from being overly disciplined as children, or libelous defamation of other's character. Personal accountability has gone under the strata of the Jurassic period, that it now takes a pastoral Archeologist to dig it up again. Personal confrontation and the sharing of ethics have become a repulsive by-word in our society and not the virtue, as it should be.

If a new person comes to visit your church, what would they observe? Would they see your church as an example of how to love and care for one another or how to bicker and fight with one another? What about your home, your family? Is it one that quarrels or one that loves? What glorifies our Lord and leads to a better life for us: conflict and violence or love and peace?

Types of Conflict

There are three main categories of conflict, Interpersonal Conflict, Intrapersonal Conflict and Substantive Conflict.

Proper Attitude and Motives

We must remember that as a Christian and ambassador of Christ, we are to proceed any endeavor with the Fruits of the Spirit where love is our focus. We must have the proper motives before we can be the peace makes and resolve the conflict.

Cultivating a Biblical Solution to Conflict

God calls us to confess! We need to look to God's Word as the primary example for our interpersonal relationships and to the ways we confront, extol, and exhort people with love and care. There are scores of examples of conflict in Scripture and how it was handled properly and improperly.

Church Staff Conflicts

What happens when the pastors and church leaders are at odds with each other? Here is a plan to prevent and resolve that conflict!

Commit to a Positive Solution or Understanding If it is your desire to destroy and split a church, then simply have no plan to resolve staff disputes. Satan will just love you and your members will be disillusioned and spread bitterness and spiritual distraction to others.

Agreeing to Disagree without Disunity

We, as mature Christian leaders, need to see the distinction of God's providence working in the lives of His people, and the pettiness of our actions. God is in control and He will win, no matter what we do.

Dealing with Difficult People

Are being unreasonable? A lot of people are unreasonable-even Christians. We will run into people who will just not get it; they will not listen, deal, resolve, or handle things God's way. They only want their way or the highway.

When Do We Engage in Conflict

Onward Christian solders? There are times when we as Christians are called to arms, as the song goes, "onward Christian solders." But hat song has to deal with the display of love! At the same time, as they said in the Middle Ages, "if the cause is just…"of course most of the causes were not just. But for us, if there is a situation that must be defended, we need to prepare ourselves...

Preventing Conflict

Here is a plan to prevent conflict from happening and when it does, you can solve it quickly!

How can we restrain our desires to manipulate, control, and to be aggressive, and repair relationships instead? Simply by realizing whom we are before a Holy God and the undeserving gift that is ours! Primary conflict is in us, so we need to control the sin that encroaches us-something Cain failed to do.

More ways we can Prevent Conflict

Maturity

Maturity is to know that our need is to be in Christ, and not to be to ourselves!

Listening

Listening knows to be an effectual leader, you must know how to listen, all its takes is the will to turn it on and let it work.

Recognizing Sin

Years ago they had soap operas on television that caught the attention of many believers. Some people would complain and say they would not be able to attend if the times were conflicting. What is it captivates so much when it comes to a soap opera?

The Call of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a direct call from our Lord. It is something extremely special which we are given, and something precious we are to replicate to others. It is not easy. It requires the practice of maturity, the patience to allow the process to unfold, and the tact to endure it. Forgiveness is also a mandate from our Lord. We can take great comfort in knowing that He is...

The Pursuit of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is complete, so that we, as Christians, are released from our personal desire for retribution. Forgiveness is costly, yet, there is no cost we could ever incur that could compare with what we cost Him. When we put forgiveness into practice in our relationships, whether with family, friends, church people, or our coworkers, we refocus our plans for our pain to God's plan, and God's ways. So, our pain becomes relieved, and our life can go on in a better direction. We can live better...

Scriptures on How to Understand, Solve, and Prevent Conflict

Genesis 4; Proverbs 3:4-6; 18:13; Matthew 7:5; 15:18-20; 18: 15-20; Luke 19:1-9; Romans 8:28-29; 1 Corinthians 6:1-8; 10:31-11:1; 13; Galatians 5; Ephesians 4:22-32; 5:1; Philippians 2:3-6; 4:2-9; James 4:1-3; 1 John 14:15

Why We have Conflicts: Mark 12:30-31; Romans 8; 1 Corinthians 7; 1 Peter 1: 13-16; James 4:1-4
Types of Conflict: Proverbs 16:18; Mark 3:25; Galatians 6:1-5
Proper Attitude and Motives: Romans 12:17-21
Be Prepared Spiritually: Romans 12:17-21
Cultivating a Biblical Solution: Proverbs 3:4; Matthew 7:3-4; 15:18-19; James 5:16
Essential Points: Psalm 103:12; Proverbs 11:29; 15:12; 32; 19:11; Isaiah 43:25; Matthew 15:19; 18:15; Luke 15:11-24; 17:3; 1 Corinthians 6:1-8; 13:5; 2 Corinthians 12:9-10; Galatians 2:20-21; 6:1,9; Philippians 2:4-5; Colossians 3:12-14; James 1:19-25
ABC's of Conflict Communication: Proverbs 19:11; Ephesians 4:29; Matthew 18:15-17
You Are Christ's Loved One: 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Conflict is an Opportunity: 1 Corinthians 6:1-8
Listening: Proverbs 28:13; James 1:19-25; 1 John 1:8-9
Understand Forgiveness: Psalm 103:12; Isaiah 43:25; 1 Corinthians 13:5; Colossians 3:12-14
Communication: Luke 15:11-24
Commit to a Positive Solution or Understanding: James 4:1-12; Matthew 15:18-19
Break Down the Issue: Matthew 7:12; 22:39; Romans 12:18; 1 Corinthians 13:5; Philippians 2:3-4; 2 Timothy 2:24-26; 1 Peter 1:13-14
Marriage Problem: Matthew 7:3-5; 2 Corinthians 3:18
Agreeing to disagree: Romans 12:17-18
Dealing with Difficult People: 1 Samuel 24:1-22; Psalm 10; 37; Isaiah 59:1-2; Matthew 5:48; Luke 6:27-31; Romans 3:23; 6:23; 12:14-21; Ephesians 4:29; Colossians 3:1-4; Hebrews 12:6; 1 Peter 2:12 -19; 3:15b-16
Satan Thrives on Conflict: Romans 8:12-14; James 4:7-8
Preventing Conflict: Jeremiah 2:13; John 4:10

The essential key to solving disagreements is this; ask, "How can I honor, glorify and please Christ as Lord in this situation?"

What the wicked dreads will overtake him; what the righteous desire will be granted.

Proverbs 10:24